Burdened? (Part 1)

The four youngest are now in bed and the house is quiet enough for me to get some well-deserved writing in.  The last few days, my life has been so busy that I'm wondering once again if this is simply a dream—you know, the kind you wake up from and instead of being the hectic life you remember, it's calm, peaceful, and you're able to do all you want.  But when I got smacked in the face by a sleepy Isaiah hand, I knew that I wasn't dreaming.  This life is real.  And I need to start living it like it is.

I said that my life has been busy.  What I meant by that is that instead of simply doing school work, household chores, and helping my mom out with dinner a little bit, I've been doing school work, household chores, making  dinner, putting the four youngest (Sophia, Emily, Sam, and Isaiah) in bed, and not getting in bed myself until eleven or twelve.  Now, I'm not Cinderella—my mom's not expecting me to do all this every day.  And to be perfectly honest, this is a "scattered" idea of what my days have been like.  I don't always do all the before mentioned things every single day.  But I have been striving toward that kind of responsibility, and I've been learning that when you strive toward such a large amount of responsibility, it's not uncommon to have your hands full.  And only the LORD knows right now how full my hands have been.

I was reading my Bible today and came across the verse in Matthew that says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gently and humble in heart, and you will find rest for you r souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30, NIV)  This verse kind of jumped out of the paper and hit me, flat in the center of my very tired and stressed brain.  I'm weary right now.  I got home from working six days a week in a kitchen at a Christian summer camp (and trust me, it's an exhausting job!) only to see my dad off on his way to Colorado to begin his new job and realize that the next couple months would be just as exhausting as the last few had been—if not more so.  It's a daunting task to move from state to state, especially when there are five younger kids at home and your mom's pregnant.  So when my dad left Iowa about a month ago, I knew that life wasn't exactly going to be a piece of cake, but I don't think that I expected to be this worn down and well—burdened—about it.  This move is hard on me because I had the false impression that I was rooted in Iowa for at least the next year and a half.  I had wanted to graduate in the same place I started high school... but you know, sometimes God has different plans.

Right now I'm discovering that His plans are the same as my plans... but only if I keep my eyes on Him.

To be continued in part 2.